


Primordial Jealousy and Coaxed Chocolate

by mirrorbluenight



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Concert, Heartbreak, Love, Monkeys, Morse Code, Multi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Therapy, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-05-28 23:57:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15060605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirrorbluenight/pseuds/mirrorbluenight
Summary: In 2012, eighth grade me wrote a fic about a girl named Olivia who got pulled onstage at a 1D concert by Liam Payne. Upon rediscovering it yesterday, I realized she left her best friend Julie to stand in the audience alone. No one cared about Julie.Well now I do. It's been six years but Julie, this is the story you deserve. But also you don't deserve any of this. I'm so sorry.





	Primordial Jealousy and Coaxed Chocolate

**Author's Note:**

> This short story unfolds in a therapist's office and implies anxiety and heavy stream of consciousness and maybe PTSD? It's just not a happy tale. Hopefully it isn't triggering for anyone, but you know yourself better than I do.

 

****“Tell me why you’re here, Julie.”

When a male coppery titi monkey is threatened romantically, he becomes territorial. He bars contact between his mate and the new rival by physically placing himself in between the two. Testosterone levels surge. Cortisol runs amok through the neurological system.

“Or at least, why you think you’re here.”

Cortisol indicates social stress.

“Start from anywhere you like. No pressure.”

Activity heightens in the cingulate cortex (this region of the brain is associated with social exclusion) and the lateral septum (aggressive behavior).

“Julie?”

I blink. “Coppery titi monkeys are ugly bastards,” I murmur.

“Pardon?”

Blink. “Coppery titi monkeys? They live in the Amazon. Bolivia. Brazil, Peru. You’ve heard of them, probably.”

Alonis smiles, though behind his perfectly aligned teeth, I can see gears churning to piece together my train of thought. “I’m afraid I haven’t,” he concedes.

“Well, they’re ugly.”

Silence.

I open my mouth again. “I.”

Hesitation.

“Go ahead, Julie. We’re friends here. The floor is open. The air is warm. This is meant to be a comfortable experience for you.”

Who the hell names their kid Alonis?

“I am a coppery titi monkey,” I whisper.

“Explain?”

Lights flash. My eardrums thud, drowning in the cacophonous flood of hysterics. Heart rate skyrockets, blood thunders through arteries. Legs carry her away to the stage. He looks down at her and she’s beaming and she thinks he’s a work of art worthy of a Louvre display but all I see is a leering intruder. An ecological threat.

“He pulled her out of the crowd.”

“I’m not following, Julie, I’m sorry. You’re going to have to--”

“Liam. Liam Payne. He pulled Olivia out of the crowd. There were _thousands_ of us.”

Olivia melts into his hands like chocolate coaxed by steam. Liam opens his mouth to sing, but all I’m hearing is radio static and Morse code tapping through the air wave. Dash dash dot. Three units. Dash dash dash. Three units. Dash dot. Three units. Dot.

 

_G O N E._

 

“This Olivia…” begins Alonis. He scrawls something across his clipboard. He looks stupid with that clipboard. “Did you feel jealous of her? Envious?”

“Jealousy is primordial, Alonis. Those words don’t know mutual exclusivity.”  
  
“What do you mean?”

“Envy: I lack something you have and therefore I want it. Jealousy is social. Something threatens a special relationship.”

“A special relationship between… you and Olivia?”

“Coppery titi monkeys-- now that’s jealousy.”

Alonis huffs. He’s growing frustrated. “I’m getting the feeling that these monkeys are not relevant to your story, Julie. If we could just dismiss them?”

“Fine.”

“So. You and Olivia? You wanted to be the one pulled on stage and Olivia stood in the way? And you felt jealous because you wanted Liam?” He leans back, body language prideful-- _I’ve cracked the code! On to the next case please, Watson._

Morse code. Radio waves. Dot dot. Three units. Dash dot dot. Three units. Dot dot. Three units. Dash dash dash. Three units. Dash.

 

_I D I O T._

 

“No.”

Alonis shifts, visibly discouraged. “No?”

Olivia smiles there in my subconscious. I can feel the sunshine memory before the cloud drifts in.

“He took her from me.”

The ugly bastard.

“I should’ve stood in the way.”

Cortisol indicates social stress.

“I should’ve protected her from rivals.”

The cingulate cortex is associated with social exclusion.

“She’s gone.”

The lateral septum with aggression.

“I haven’t seen her since.”

Jealousy is primordial.

“He’s an ugly bastard and I hate him.”

Chocolate melts best on a stovetop, in a saucepan balanced atop boiling water.

“She’s gone.”

 

Or under stadium lights, to the sound of music.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Didn't really intend for it to go in this direction (no pun intended) but alas. Thanks for reading!


End file.
